Tribute - A life well lived (1949-2010)

It's a year today.September 2nd 2010 - A beautiful soul, a true fighter and a wonderful human being left the material world. This day my mom gave in to her battle against cancer after a year long fight.

Her Childhood and Marriage.

She was born on Oct14th, 1949, Deharadun. She was named - "Sudha", which means 'Superb, wealthy, pure, nectar. She was true to her name. She maintained a sweet and simple demeanor throughout her lifetime - Saving her sisters when they sneaked out watching movies, doing their homework, or saving them from my grandmother. She got married to my father - Mr. MadhuSudan Gupta on Nov 11th 1976 . It was an arranged marriage where they didnt even see each other. Can we imagine this now? A lawyer by education, She decided to be a home maker till we grew up.

when i was growing up,i never observed her. i guess, somethings are always taken for granted and never cared. In 2009, when she was sick i spent 4 months beside her, noticing her every moment. This is the time i actually knew her.

Her Smile and Confidence
A perfect libran. A thread that tied all of us toghther - My Father, My Brother and I. She is the person who knew what is happening at my end by just listening to a hello on phone. It's very difficult for older generation to accept change but she not only absorbed the changing times but molded into us the strong values.

Her Patience and UnderStanding
She knew whaz cooking in my head. I was a brat. She understood us without saying a word. it was never easy to lie to her. She understood that mistakes are made. I never saw her holding a grudge against anyone. we should learn to forgive/forget who wronged us.

Her Unconditional Love
She respected and showed her unconditional love to every soul who came in touch with her - from the person who delivered milk to the person who worked at our place to her friends to US(my brother and I). She understood every individual has his/her personality.She respected their individuality. Never judgemental and handling ego issues with care.

Her organised ways
She was an Independent women. She was a perfect manager.She started working as a Teacher in sometime. My father worked with ONGC (Oil and Natural Gas Commission). His job required him to travel 28 days a month. She managed both home and work gracefully. Managing brats such as My brother and I was definitely a challenge. she patiently tolerated our mood swings and tantrums. In the last few months i spent with her, I was amazed to see how she scolded the nurses when they didnt do their job properly and showered love afterwards. She told me - every one is a kid. you need to handle them with care. No wonder she was one of the best teacher.

Her culinary skills
She was an amazing cook. She was unbeatable with all kinds of Indian foods - from home made pickle, South/North Indian food.My friends waited for me :). Every Sunday we had different cuisine to taste. No wonder i was an healthy kid. I can only imagine her carrying me everywhere in her arms. My friends waited for my lunch box and invitations.

Her Never-Say Die attitude
In the year of 2009, she was diagnosed with incurable ovarian cancer- Stage IV. we didn't know whom to blame - the pathology report which didnt detect the cancer in early stages or the gynecologist who didnt pay attention to her. She went through 13 chemos and an operation but she was calm, courageous, and ever smiling. Never once through her battle she cried "why me". The excruciating pain could never rob her contagious smile. The journey was long. The end was sure. The question wasnt if. The question was when.Her cancer was stronger than medicines but she pulled along with a
smile and grace.

Her Strength at the time of adversity
Going through 13 chemos - the inexplicable pain that none of us can even imagine. Her doctors admired her Strength. Her doctor once told me - she never complains. Always greets us with smile. It's always easier said than done.

Take Life as it comes
I was a short tempered and easily stressed out individual. She always asked me to relax and take things as they come.

you were there

when i opened my eyes to show me the world.
when i was sad to console me,
when i was lonely to hold me,
when i made mistakes to scold me,
walk beside me in every step i took,
to take me through my failures,
patiently, calmly moulding me to who i am,
you are my strength and guide
i wish i was you.
we love you and miss you.

Fat to Fit

Date : Aug 25th 2011
Venue : AdvancedExpression Toastmaster
Event : Humorous Speech Contest

My journey - FAT to FIT


I was always a fat kid but my Mom's love made her say “You are not fat but you have a structure that makes you look broad." I believed her, until a few years ago, when I met a group of environmental activists who were organizing a skit on preserving the environment. They offered me the lead role. While they were narrating the story, I was building the castle. And when I got to know that my role was that of a healthy broad tree, to be saved, the castle came crashing down on me, smashing my dreams, and sorrowing my soul. Fortuna’s wheel had turned on me - throwing me from my mom's protected shield to the world of reality.The fat became my insidious enemy. However, I gathered the ashes of my dream and decided to do something about it, like join a gym or go on diet.

When I was growing up, I was told that I there are two roads to success - the long, righteous one and the short one. I chose the easy, short one – The unbeatable google gave me a long list – Atkin’s diet, Fruit diet, Vegetarian diet, protein diet… I scanned and decided to go on Lemon water diet. However, the universe had decided to conspire against me. It appeared to join the God of evil-fat and determined to spell evil days ahead - showing me food and invitations in every direction I looked- from my mailbox to the dark streets i walked. How can one fight the nature that made Fat people better at smelling food.

Disheartened, I decided to join a gym. I tortured myself in the gym but no drastic results. I manipulated and concentrated and at last reduced from 200 pounds to 140 pounds. Today, I am going to share the secret tips. However, please try these "At your own risk"

I want to ask a question: what is the next best thing that is in abundance after free advice - Stress.

1. Use Stress - You don't have to hunt for it. With economy crashing and stock process going down faster than earth's speed, you dont need anything else to reduce.If you have not invested in stock market then worry about everything in life - from your kids to office issues to bitter/better half issues. Worry is the key to fight the evil fat. You have not invested in stock and have no major worries - befriend a person who always cribs. Crying is contagious. if you don't have problems, you will be stressed out with their problems.

2. The next tip is gender specific - if you are a gal- go shopping. Buy a dress from a boutique at full price. The size should be smaller than your current size. This is your motivation and the rest would be history. I am a gal - trust me and this works every time. Guys - give your credit card to your better half. Either you will reduce because of starvation or because of depression of losing money.

3. Every ounce of fat has its own character - abs fat, muscle fat. It has to be beaten for hours - irrespective of season - summer or winter. For such fat - start traveling through NJ transit. The gods of weather always succeed in crashing human efforts to run the transit on time. This process will beat away the hidden fat.

4. The next 2 tips are easy ones - there is so much competition. Know your friends. Buy them deals from living social. First, these deals are economical - the icing on the cake is you don't have to join your friends and at the same time you are cutting competition.

5. With the advent of iPhone things have become easier. A few days back i downloaded this app- myfitnesspal - where you can log everything you eat. Scan the items. Real hitch, first day i logged, it advised me - " if you continue eating this way you will gain 10 pounds”. I was heartbroken, but then i saw my roommate's log - if you keep eating this way you will gain 20 pounds. My guilt disappeared and i started praying hard- GOD if you cant make me thin make my friends fat :)