Fat to Fit

Date : Aug 25th 2011
Venue : AdvancedExpression Toastmaster
Event : Humorous Speech Contest

My journey - FAT to FIT


I was always a fat kid but my Mom's love made her say “You are not fat but you have a structure that makes you look broad." I believed her, until a few years ago, when I met a group of environmental activists who were organizing a skit on preserving the environment. They offered me the lead role. While they were narrating the story, I was building the castle. And when I got to know that my role was that of a healthy broad tree, to be saved, the castle came crashing down on me, smashing my dreams, and sorrowing my soul. Fortuna’s wheel had turned on me - throwing me from my mom's protected shield to the world of reality.The fat became my insidious enemy. However, I gathered the ashes of my dream and decided to do something about it, like join a gym or go on diet.

When I was growing up, I was told that I there are two roads to success - the long, righteous one and the short one. I chose the easy, short one – The unbeatable google gave me a long list – Atkin’s diet, Fruit diet, Vegetarian diet, protein diet… I scanned and decided to go on Lemon water diet. However, the universe had decided to conspire against me. It appeared to join the God of evil-fat and determined to spell evil days ahead - showing me food and invitations in every direction I looked- from my mailbox to the dark streets i walked. How can one fight the nature that made Fat people better at smelling food.

Disheartened, I decided to join a gym. I tortured myself in the gym but no drastic results. I manipulated and concentrated and at last reduced from 200 pounds to 140 pounds. Today, I am going to share the secret tips. However, please try these "At your own risk"

I want to ask a question: what is the next best thing that is in abundance after free advice - Stress.

1. Use Stress - You don't have to hunt for it. With economy crashing and stock process going down faster than earth's speed, you dont need anything else to reduce.If you have not invested in stock market then worry about everything in life - from your kids to office issues to bitter/better half issues. Worry is the key to fight the evil fat. You have not invested in stock and have no major worries - befriend a person who always cribs. Crying is contagious. if you don't have problems, you will be stressed out with their problems.

2. The next tip is gender specific - if you are a gal- go shopping. Buy a dress from a boutique at full price. The size should be smaller than your current size. This is your motivation and the rest would be history. I am a gal - trust me and this works every time. Guys - give your credit card to your better half. Either you will reduce because of starvation or because of depression of losing money.

3. Every ounce of fat has its own character - abs fat, muscle fat. It has to be beaten for hours - irrespective of season - summer or winter. For such fat - start traveling through NJ transit. The gods of weather always succeed in crashing human efforts to run the transit on time. This process will beat away the hidden fat.

4. The next 2 tips are easy ones - there is so much competition. Know your friends. Buy them deals from living social. First, these deals are economical - the icing on the cake is you don't have to join your friends and at the same time you are cutting competition.

5. With the advent of iPhone things have become easier. A few days back i downloaded this app- myfitnesspal - where you can log everything you eat. Scan the items. Real hitch, first day i logged, it advised me - " if you continue eating this way you will gain 10 pounds”. I was heartbroken, but then i saw my roommate's log - if you keep eating this way you will gain 20 pounds. My guilt disappeared and i started praying hard- GOD if you cant make me thin make my friends fat :)